Source: monicalewinsky1996 via laughbitches
Source: epic-vines via laughbitches
Source: amy-ambrosio via vogue-for-lunch
Source: lightspeedsound via iknowyoubetterthanthat
Tina Fey: You know, when the producers of this event first called us, last night, I said, “It’s three in the morning! Who died?” And they explained that everything was fine, it’s just that they were planning a comedy event, and no women had agreed to show up. So I said, “What award is Jerry Lewis getting?” And they said, “No, no, it’s not Jerry Lewis. It’s Don Rickles.” So I said, “Oh, Don Rickles is the best. Amy and I would love to come to your event.” And they said, “Wait, how are we calling you and Amy in the same bed?” [I said] “Don’t worry about it. It doesn’t concern you.”
Amy Poehler: So here we are, because they thought it was important for Don to be honored by at least one woman, which, apparently, is what we count as.
Source: helenaoftroy via iknowyoubetterthanthat
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crystalballsaveusall:

snorlaxatives:

i’m so popular at parties i make the best mixed drinks

Lmaooooo

Source: snorlaxatives via crystalballsaveusall

felizlevidad:

*7th grader voice from 2006* haha google blue waffle

Source: gaypriest via seanp0donnell
Source: owls-n-elderberries via rosewaves
Source: racingbarakarts via thisisnotmyfairytaleendingg

ohdaesusie:

this world is so fucked up like one of my friends has carpeting in his bathroom instead of tile like how can someone hate themselves that much

Source: ohdaesusie via seanp0donnell

whoredinarygirl:

barely passing a class like

image

Source: whoredinarygirl via covocal
Source: fyeahhousewifeswag via nsome

boatany:

my sister proposed to her girlfriend last night and she keeps making jokes about being engayged

Source: boatany via guy